Brooke, My Best Friend

Today’s a tough one.  An empty one. Work has been slow, which I think makes it harder.

Whenever I feel especially empty, and I don’t know what to do with myself, and going home to eat Cheetos, watch Parenthood and cry sounds perfect but vaguely unhealthy – I lean on Brooke.  She’s my very best friend in the whole wide world.  We met in Kindergarten.  I was best friends with Erica Thomas and I now know that Brooke was jealous and not a fan, but she didn’t show it at the time.  She just patiently waited for me to figure out that Erica was maybe not the best and then was right there when I figured out that Brooke was, in fact, the best.  She was already classy when the rest of us were still just trying to walk out of the bathroom without our dresses tucked into our panties.  

One time in Kindergarten I was coloring in Mrs. Hailey’s class and my finger got stuck.  I know now that my fingers are double jointed and it was a cool trick, but at the time I thought it was broken and frozen like that forever and I started crying.  Brooke smiled even though I could tell she was scared and bent my finger for me so it went back to normal.  We both laughed even though I know we were thinking “what the hell did your finger just do don’t tell your mom and I hope that never happens again. Alien.”  But she didn’t say any of that.  In fourth grade, I liked Taylor Hirst, and one day he got into his mom’s car after school and then got back out just to tell me he thought I was funny.  I ran back inside to tell Brooke that Taylor thought I was funny and she did a little jumping dance with me in the hall outside Mrs. Moon’s room.  In fifth grade Brooke’s neighborhood was re-zoned to a different elementary school and she called my house phone without asking her mom, even though we were supposed to ask before we used the phone, and she told me and we both cried.  Sophomore year, I sneaked into her house while she was still sleeping to surprise her for her birthday and got glitter in her eye, but she wasn’t mad.  She was only sad for just a second.  Then we went to college half a country away from one another but our parents bought us plane tickets to visit each other every semester.  And tonight I’m going to her apartment to sit next to her.  She’s too tired from work and said she has to nap, but I’m always allowed to sit next to her no matter what she’s doing.

She’s irreplaceable.  I don’t think I’ve ever trusted anyone more in my whole life, and I thank Dumbledore for her every single day.

I saw a commercial the other week that reminded me of Brooke and told her about it (There are two little girls and one is black – Brooke is black- and the other is white – even though I’m not blonde I’m pretty sure I had that haircut in Kindergarten.  So yeah, the connection was a little racist, but mostly just awesome).  The other night during The Bachelor, Brooke was making dinner in her kitchen and I yelled “BROOKE IT’S ON! OUR COMMERCIAL!”  She ran in to watch and when it was over, we did a little it’s our commercial we just saw it and it’s us! dance on her couch.  Now whenever it comes on and we’re together, we wait for the two little girls in it to meet each other, and when they do, we do a mini ‘Look we met! We did it! We met!’ celebration and then laugh through all the other commercials.  This is it.  She’s so scared to get on the bus, and I totally know the feeling.  She’s so brave…. it’s precious, so you should see it if you haven’t:

I don’t know how people get through hard times without people like Brooke.  Maybe they’re stronger; maybe they have to be stronger because there’s no one who will let you sit next to them every single day while they carry on with their lives.  Maybe that strength is good for them.  But I don’t care, because I know she’s not going anywhere.  And when the time comes, I’ll carry on with my life and let her sit next to me every single day for weeks.  And she can say the same things over and over again a thousand times, because she needs to.  And she let me do that once, and never said ‘get over it’.  Not once.

Love you Brooke.  And I’m so lucky that you wanted to be my best friend in Kindergarten.  See you tonight.  (You’ll be napping, so I’ll let myself in).

- d

“This is how it works. I love the people in my life, and I do for my friends whatever they need me to do for them, again and again, as many times as is necessary. For example, in your case you always forgot who you are and how much you're loved. So what I do for you as your friend is remind you who you are and tell you how much I love you. And this isn't any kind of burden for me, because I love who you are very much. Every time I remind you, I get to remember with you, which is my pleasure.”
― James Lecesne