Dutch-Ovened on the 6 Train

Every morning it's the battle of the people inside the subway car versus the people outside trying to get in. Everyone seems to be trying to get to work at the same time and of course everyone's time is important. What's funny is that as soon as someone manages to squeeze onto the subway car, they automatically have disdain for anyone else trying to get in. There's no room! Give it up and take the next one, geez!
One woman finally lost it this morning. The doors opened at 59th street to a wall of people ready to push their way in and she just screamed "THERES NO ROOM! I JUST ... CAN'T!" the man next to her said calmly "ma'am, there's room right here..."

"I HAVE!  ...   A BAG!"

I thought she was gonna cry.

The Mr. Belding look-a-like next to me felt it was his personal responsibility to traffic-direct our car. Every time someone was trying to get off he would yell things like "Dig a hole!" and "Hot soup!" I don't know what any of those things mean, but people moved out of the way.

So how did I handle it? How did I contribute? We finally reached Grand Central 42nd Street and right as we were ordered to "stand clear of the closing doors", I farted then slipped out.  Dutch-ovened those fools right on in there.

Make it a great day, y'all.

Keepin’ ya posted

- d